Quote of the Week

"We Must be Willing to Give Up the Life We Have Planned, So As to Have the Life that is Waiting for Us."
-Joseph Campbell
Week of Aug 12, 2013

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Because I Said So.

That's what Kyle defiantly told Ryan this morning when Ryan told him he could not wear shorts to school. I knew something was up when I came out of my room and saw Kyle face down on Nick's bed still in his jammies while the others were dressed. But I didn't want to know and went about my business. Later Ryan shared with me Kyle's OUTRAGE that he couldn't wear shorts.

Dear Kyle: it's your Grandma's fault you couldn't wear shorts today. Ok, that's a stretch - somewhat - but there are some roots there. Let me explain.

I have found that there appears to be many things I do or say, and if you were to ask me the reason, and I told the absolute truth, it would simply be because "my mom said."

I used to always leave the stove popped open after baking anything. Ryan disliked this. He wanted to know why. I first told him because it warms the house. He didn't like that answer, so I gave him the real answer: because it's what my mom did. That really didn't help my argument, or attempt to not lose crazy points, but that was the answer. I don't know why she did it. She just did, and so I always did it, until it became more annoying to hear Ryan analyze all the reasons why it didn't make sense. So that's one habit I HAVE been broken of...I mean, of which I have been broken. (Mom will read this and not approve of me ending the sentence with a preposition.)

Towels. Ryan folded towels once. And now, I do not let him fold towels. He "does it wrong." He wanted to know what made it wrong. Again, I don't have a logicial answer, other than "this is how my mom does it." So I went with, "Because it IS."

So let's come back to this morning and the drama over shorts. First, let's address clothing in general. When I was growing up, our school clothing rules were: 1. Nothing revealing. 2. Nothing with holes. 3. No sweat pants. That number three isn't going over well with the boys.
Yeah, kids these days don't really dress up for school. I like my kids to look decent. Matching. Clean. And I adhere to the three rules. But they are boys, and they want to wear their MIZZOU sweats or basketball pants. Ryan actually asked me about it. I did not explain that was my mom's rule. Instead, I recited to him what had been recited to me, "We go to school to learn. We need to be dressed appropriately. We should not be wearing clothes we could sleep in." Or something like that.

Now, this is not to say I don't put my own thoughts into these things. My mom would be the first to tell you, if I did not like or "get" her "rules" then I would break them. But obviously there were things that did stick. Subconsciously. As far as clothes go, I generally go with the "dress for the job you want, not the job you have" theory. And I do believe sending the kids to school in "I'm ready to WORK, not play" clothes makes sense. Jeans and TShirts (nice ones, no stupid sayings or characters) are ok. I let them have their sense of style...with restrictions. But the heart of the decision probably stems from the 3 rules.

Then there's the shorts issue. Which, especially with Kyle, is up there with the coat issue. He doesn't want to wear a coat, ever. And he'd probably wear shorts all the time. Come on, we have to draw the line.

Well, mom had a rule that we couldn't wear shorts unless it was 80. I double checked my brain several times to make sure it was not 70, because that does seem extreme, but no, I'm 95% sure it was 80. Now, I'm thinking this rule was set in exasperation to being asked a million times if we could wear shorts. I get that. So yes, I also set limits on when they can be outside in shorts - or without jackets or long sleeves. So today, yes, it was going to be 70. But it was NOT 70 in the morning. They stand at the bus in the morning. They have morning recess. So, no shorts.

I love that Ryan told me Kyle came in to get a jacket because he was cold in his jeans and Tshirt at the bus stop. I asked Ryan if he pointed that out to Kyle. He said he did, but it only got Kyle going about how it would be "like 90 later" and he would "MELLLLLT."

Yep. Some stuff sticks with you - and you don't even know until someone else questions you about it. Though I am aware when I hear my mom's voice coming out of my mouth. That's creepy. There are a few phrases she used that I have been able to restrain from using ... like, "Butt flat!" So many jokes could be made about what that means, but it was basically getting yelled at in the car to have our 'butts flat' on the seat, and unable to reach whoever we're picking on. Or to not sit like we're about to take off from the dinner table. You just heard "Butts Flat!" and you knew to sit. Now.

Then there's the infamous, "Find a place and light," which only in the last year, did I reveal to her that I. HAD. NO. IDEA. WHAT. THAT. MEANT!!

Ah, the stuff parents say. Sounds like another blog.....
(Feel free to submit your mom-isms & sayings.)


Anonymous said...

I have a comment about folding towels. Uncle Bud does all the laundry at our house. The first time I did the laundry the response was, "I don't fold my t-shirts like that. I don't like my socks rolled up like that. I don't fold towels like that." I pretty much haven't touched a laundry basket in 25 years. There's a lesson to be learned here.
I love you.
Aunt Judi

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