Kids: Social Achievement

Interesting thoughts from first part of Chapter 1 in "A Nation of Wimps."

• It used to be that kids got their social status from their parents. Now parents get THEIR social status from kids!

• Parents these days don't feel comfortable leaving their children with someone else for 2 hours. TWO HOURS! It talks about how if the child isn't in the mother's laser sights for every second ... they believe they will somehow be psychologically damaged among other things.

INTERESTING~! Ever felt like you needed to take your kids to gymboree cuz that's what everyone else does? Or you need to be seen at the soccer field? I don't think I've gotten quite sucked into that ... yet. BUT --

I do know I've worried about my kids with other people. I HATE when they come home from somewhere and their manners or behaviors are all out of whack. (Saying things like "whatever" or "gimme that" or talking with their mouth full because the ADULTS they were with don't set good examples or have ANY boundaries.) But at the same time, I do understand that we NEED a break from each other. It's best for everyone.

The book talks about how much kids need normal every day PLAY ... but parents are always interfering. I'm getting better about that. Just go outside. Our backyard is fenced in .. I don't need to be hovering over them. And Jack and Kyle are allowed to go to other houses .. Jack is supposed to be watching out for Kyle. I just need to turn off the TV/Computer more, I think.

So ... so far so good. I just need to continue to reinforce what Daddy and I consider acceptable manners/behavior so that when they do go elsewhere - they can withstand bad examples and just know better.

A Nation of Wimps

That's the name of a book I'm reading now. It totally goes along with something I've been meaning to blog (bitch about) for a long time now.

I have really noticed, in my work, and some social situations a HUGE problem with the new generation of young people. Pure ENTITLEMENT. They think they should be hired for the big shows ... right out of school .... and get all the perks of a more senior employee. They think they can take time off to get their teeth whitened .. or because their boyfriend is SAD. They've never had anyone tell them they've done something wrong, so when you try to point out errors and poor performance, they simply don't know how to handle it - and worse yet, don't have the common sense to know to shape up fast, or they'll be fired. There's no fear. They don't think they should have to work the crappy hours or extra days to move ahead. They don't want to put in extra time to move ahead. They want it all served up on a silver platter. It's driving me crazy.

And you know who the problem is? Parents. Specifically these parents who fall under this term I love: helicopter parents. You know, they hover over every thing a child does. What's worse, they not only hover, but they remove all obstacles, sources of "pain" and chances to learn about LIFE. They "interfere" in ways my generation and older would be MORTIFIED about .. like calling bosses and college professors. I had a parent email me to ask me to approve her child's -- my employee's -- vacation time. Now, I was talking to some recent grads who tell me I shouldn't hold it against the employee, because often when parents do this -- the student/employee has no idea it's happening. I'll give them that. Still, come on!

Ok. Here's the kicker. The big wham-o. The irony. The disappointing truth. I find myself doing it. I'm part of the problem!! I don't think I'm as "crazy" as many (most) parents worrying about every little thing and wanting to do everything for them. But I do have in my head things that "hurt" me in whatever way growing up, and try to prevent that.

Were we all raised so HORRIBLY that we've got to change EVERYTHING in how we parent to not repeat the same mistakes?? I think now, in comparison, the answer is no - because I am so much better at handling "life" than these younger folks. But of course, as we parent, we must think "yes." I will never yell at my children in public, or fight with my husband in public, and I don't ever want my kids to feel "inferior" because they don't have the right clothes, toys or activities. Yikes! So I give them everything ... and they don't appreciate it. Bad move that's hard to fix.

Anyway ... this book nails it. It talks about how we do so much to protect our kids now that they become psychologically fragile. They don't know how to deal with disappointment or hurt - because they've never been able to learn to cope on their own. YES!

They NEED to fight with other kids. They NEED to lose a game and not get a trophy. They NEED to get a bad grade. They NEED to be told: you're not doing a good job. (God forbid!) How else will they get that "feeling" that helps them -- pushes them - to want to do better next time? (I can't help but wonder what the future of sports will be like with all these kids who can't get hurt...!)

The book has statistics on the skyrocketing number of college students who are binge drinking and needing counseling at school because they can't cope. And this whole "self mutilation" thing that's growing among kids is part of THIS problem.

So, I've just read the introduction so far. I'm really hoping I can get some guidance as to help my kids be STRONG ... INDEPENDENT and understand the concept of WORKING HARD -- ON YOUR OWN....being a SELF-STARTER. And how I can land the helicopter and let them fly on their own.

I'll keep you posted.

The Eye Twitch

My eye twitch is back. I had it last fall ... when I was struggling with work stuff - mostly scheduling - and such .. and apparently not getting enough sleep.
It eventually went away ... not really sure when. It was a twitch that would happen every few minutes! So much so that I would google it to see if it meant I was about to have a stroke or something. But, everything said: too much caffeine, not enough sleep. Yep.

And it's back. Same scenario. Ryan's helping on Monday and Friday by putting Jack on the bus....but it's still not enough sleep. And my Coke drinking has escalated lately.

It's annoying. I wonder if people can see it. I don't think so .. but it's distracting. And weird! It's weird! So, what am I doing? Blogging instead of sleeping. Dummy.

Email Blog

Testing email blogging.

Twitter Updates from the JSchool

I'll be twittering while attending the JSchool celebrations ...
My twitters will update here at the top.

BUT You can also follow EVERYONE talking about the celebration by going to:

search.twitter.com and searching #mizzou

Those of you new to twitter, a pound sign before a word sends that twitter to a "feed," for lack of a better word, of all twitters related to that subject. So, if you're interested in discussion or whatever of that subject, you'll find it there.

'burg, here I come!

I Believe in the Profession of Journalism

BTW - I'm not hating people as much this week.

I'm preparing now (actually I'm not, I'm blogging) but soon I'll start packing and getting ready to go spend 4 days in Columbia. I'm going to the big 2008 Centennial/Dedication for the JSchool at the University of Missouri. MU's JSchool was the FIRST in the world, and hands down, the best. (Oh yes, I'm proud and not afraid to be one of THOSE MU people. I've earned it baby.)And they've just added on this huge building, called the Donald W. Reynolds Journalism Institute and will dedicate it this Friday in a big ceremony. http://rji.missouri.edu/

So .. JSchool alum from all over and community leaders and just fans of the school are converging on campus this week for a huge event. It's a big damn deal.(http://journalism.missouri.edu/2008/).

I'm looking at it as an opportunity to cleanse. We always call good journalism - the kind you learn at Mizzou -- journalism with a capital "J." Well, when you get out in the real world, try as you might, that J tends to shrink. It's been terribly ironic for me -- because I went out into the world and touted my "BIG J" and could usuallly bend folks toward me. I was quite righteous about it too! I often became the "ethics gauge" in the newsroom. But soon, you learn the economics of journalism...and having to give viewers want they want...and you "adjust" your values a bit. My "BIG J" is trampled on, dirty, and certainly not capitalized anymore. But it's not just me.

Have you noticed how certain networks are now considered the "conservative" one ... and the "liberal" one? I'm thinking of two cable networks in particular. What the heck? I thought journalism was "we report-- you decide" (not so, I guess for the network that uses that tagline.) You're not supposed to be able to tell if reporters or anchors "lean" a certain way. You're supposed to get objective coverage. But it's become glaringly evident this election. Even Saturday Night Live spoofs the ga-ga attitudes some "journalists" have toward a certain candidate. That's crazy! That's NOT journalism. Those folks need to be stripped of their jobs, tarred and feathered....or at least just called "analysts." They're NOT journalists.

Oh the shame. But there are people out there who still want to get it right. Or, who maybe, like me ... just need a "cleansing." I can still give the viewers what they want, and maintain ratings to keep us in business, and make sure I've lived within the standards of a journalist.

Wow. See. That's just how GOOD my JSchool is. I'm already cleansing -- and I haven't left my home yet. Just thinking about "from whence I came" is getting me back on track.
Yeah, I still believe.
-------------------------------------------------
I believe in the profession of journalism.

I believe that the public journal is a public trust; that all connected with it are, to the full measure of their responsibility, trustees for the public; that acceptance of a lesser service than the public service is betrayal of this trust.

I believe that clear thinking and clear statement, accuracy and fairness are fundamental to good journalism.

I believe that a journalist should write only what he holds in his heart to be true.

I believe that suppression of the news, for any consideration other than the welfare of society, is indefensible.

I believe that no one should write as a journalist what he would not say as a gentleman; that bribery by one's own pocketbook is as much to be avoided as bribery by the pocketbook of another; that individual responsibility may not be escaped by pleading another's instructions or another's dividends.

I believe that advertising, news and editorial columns should alike serve the best interests of readers; that a single standard of helpful truth and cleanness should prevail for all; that the supreme test of good journalism is the measure of its public service.

I believe that the journalism which succeeds best -- and best deserves success -- fears God and honors Man; is stoutly independent, unmoved by pride of opinion or greed of power, constructive, tolerant but never careless, self-controlled, patient, always respectful of its readers but always unafraid, is quickly indignant at injustice; is unswayed by the appeal of privilege or the clamor of the mob; seeks to give every man a chance and, as far as law and honest wage and recognition of human brotherhood can make it so, an equal chance; is profoundly patriotic while sincerely promoting international good will and cementing world-comradeship; is a journalism of humanity, of and for today's world.

THE JOURNALIST'S CREED
--WALTER WILLIAMS, 1ST DEAN OF THE WORLD'S FIRST SCHOOL OF JOURNALISM
UNIVERSITY OF MISSOURI 1908-1935

WTF?

What's the deal with people these days?
Really.
Seriously.
Ok, this post is too much like my last one ... but I'm restricted because my blog is not private. And that's annoying, cuz I'd love to just stand on the mountain top and sing-it-sista.

But I won't. Oh well, I suppose this too shall pass.
Morons.

People.

I'm tired of people.
Whining, bitching, annoying, slacking, sniveling, stupid people.

That's all.