That's the name of a book I'm reading now. It totally goes along with something I've been meaning to blog (bitch about) for a long time now.
I have really noticed, in my work, and some social situations a HUGE problem with the new generation of young people. Pure ENTITLEMENT. They think they should be hired for the big shows ... right out of school .... and get all the perks of a more senior employee. They think they can take time off to get their teeth whitened .. or because their boyfriend is SAD. They've never had anyone tell them they've done something wrong, so when you try to point out errors and poor performance, they simply don't know how to handle it - and worse yet, don't have the common sense to know to shape up fast, or they'll be fired. There's no fear. They don't think they should have to work the crappy hours or extra days to move ahead. They don't want to put in extra time to move ahead. They want it all served up on a silver platter. It's driving me crazy.
And you know who the problem is? Parents. Specifically these parents who fall under this term I love: helicopter parents. You know, they hover over every thing a child does. What's worse, they not only hover, but they remove all obstacles, sources of "pain" and chances to learn about LIFE. They "interfere" in ways my generation and older would be MORTIFIED about .. like calling bosses and college professors. I had a parent email me to ask me to approve her child's -- my employee's -- vacation time. Now, I was talking to some recent grads who tell me I shouldn't hold it against the employee, because often when parents do this -- the student/employee has no idea it's happening. I'll give them that. Still, come on!
Ok. Here's the kicker. The big wham-o. The irony. The disappointing truth. I find myself doing it. I'm part of the problem!! I don't think I'm as "crazy" as many (most) parents worrying about every little thing and wanting to do everything for them. But I do have in my head things that "hurt" me in whatever way growing up, and try to prevent that.
Were we all raised so HORRIBLY that we've got to change EVERYTHING in how we parent to not repeat the same mistakes?? I think now, in comparison, the answer is no - because I am so much better at handling "life" than these younger folks. But of course, as we parent, we must think "yes." I will never yell at my children in public, or fight with my husband in public, and I don't ever want my kids to feel "inferior" because they don't have the right clothes, toys or activities. Yikes! So I give them everything ... and they don't appreciate it. Bad move that's hard to fix.
Anyway ... this book nails it. It talks about how we do so much to protect our kids now that they become psychologically fragile. They don't know how to deal with disappointment or hurt - because they've never been able to learn to cope on their own. YES!
They NEED to fight with other kids. They NEED to lose a game and not get a trophy. They NEED to get a bad grade. They NEED to be told: you're not doing a good job. (God forbid!) How else will they get that "feeling" that helps them -- pushes them - to want to do better next time? (I can't help but wonder what the future of sports will be like with all these kids who can't get hurt...!)
The book has statistics on the skyrocketing number of college students who are binge drinking and needing counseling at school because they can't cope. And this whole "self mutilation" thing that's growing among kids is part of THIS problem.
So, I've just read the introduction so far. I'm really hoping I can get some guidance as to help my kids be STRONG ... INDEPENDENT and understand the concept of WORKING HARD -- ON YOUR OWN....being a SELF-STARTER. And how I can land the helicopter and let them fly on their own.
I'll keep you posted.