Today I was just plain tired. I pretty much slept the day away. I'm at a 2. That's pretty good. But in the back of my head, I'm actually thinking it's not. (No meds! Came really close to taking one last night, but made it!)
Here's why. The way things are going, I will go visit the doctor tomorrow, the pain will be gone, it will be a waste of time and all of this will have been for nothing. And that would be just stupid.
Stupid.
So, as crazy as it sounds, I'd really prefer to know what all that was about. To not have made a scary ER trip that scared the bejeezus out of my out-of-town-couldn't-get-back-husband. To not have sent my imagination spiraling so much I was afraid to sleep at night - afraid I might not wake up. Afraid that I would be like what you see on TV - the patient told to go home, only to have something horrible happen that someone overlooked. My imagination is waaaaay to over-active for this type of stuff. So, yeah, I want it to be something. Pinched nerve, heartburn, infection, a treatable-no-big-deal something with a name...because it just wouldn't be right to have gone through all of THAT...for nothing.
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