Big Heart

I love that picture of Jack and Ryan so much -- it's hard to blog and move it down from front and center! It touches me so much every time I see it. He had broken into sobs DURING the game when the other team scored a second goal in the second half. He was on the field and I was wishing the coach would bench him ... or that I could catch his eye to try to encourage him to keep going. I remember feeling embarrassed that my kid was crying, while the others were being "tough." Which is what I prefer ... "be tough."

Then I was touched when the coach DID sit him down, and put his hands on Jack's shoulders and talked to him for so long, the asst. coach had to come over and tell Coach to get back in the game. I appreciated that. Jack's coach is such a good guy. He is so lucky.

Anyway, Jack steeled himself, and played again without the visible tears. Then after the game ... when all the parents lined up to make the "tunnel" the kids run through (isn't that cool?)...I could see his red eyes, and that he was trying to hold his tears in.

Then I headed for our stuff ... so Ryan could go listen to coach talking to the kids after the game...and I looked back and saw that picture: Jack with his head on Ryan's shoulder. I only snapped one shot. I didn't want to intrude on the moment. Ryan says Jack sobbed as soon as daddy hugged him. I was still feeling edgy about my "not tough" kid.

Then it was medal time. The kids all got real nice medals -- for their big second place accomplishment. And as the coach handed them out, he said something nice about each kid and we applauded. When he got to Jack, he talked about Jack's big heart. And that struck me. A big heart. What mom wouldn't be proud of that? My kid is passionate about something. That's a good thing. That's my boy.

Heartbreak in Field 13

All the way to the championship ... then, the agony of defeat. What a season. Great kids, and great coaches.

Stress! (In a good way)

Jack's in tournament play ... he got a "bye" out of his first round and played the second game today.  It stayed soooo close the entire time -- and ended 1-1.  So, because it was tournament play -- they had a shoot out.  And then THAT tied ... so we do it again, with kids who didn't kick the first time ...sudden death.  And won.  Man, what that does to a mother!  Ack!  Tomorrow, another game - and if they win, they play for the championship.

Then ... it starts all over next weekend with baseball.  

( :

No Frost!

There's a frost potential sometime this weekend....and considering all the flowers I JUST planted...I'm really hoping that doesn't happen here!  I'm DONE being cold!  I even put all my winter clothes away.  Grrrr.

So, it's Saturday.  Mom survived the week (so far.)  I'm on call this weekend (boo.)

I hope to finish my LOVE chipboard book today.  It's not turning out wonderful - it was hard to wrap my brain around scrapping on the weird shape - and keeping in mind the other side.  But it was a good exercise ... and I think my future chipboard books will be better.  I am going to unbind it - because it's just gotten too fat and won't close.  I'll hold it together with rings or ribbon or something.  So...hopefully I post that "Complete" project this weekend!

New Poll!

Scroll down to check it out....

Sweeps

Tomorrow is the first day of sweeps (all your favorite shows come back with new runs.)

So .... I won't be around as much. I may Twitter - because that takes like 2 seconds.

But no worries ... I'm just entrenched in sweeps for the next month.

(Updates will happen most often on weekends.)

Monday

The Five:
1. Tired
2. Anxious about a new thing we're training on at work.
3. Busy
4. Hot
5. Hungry...time to make lunch!

Wishes:
1. I could have the week off ...
2. I could find my favorite black sweats. WHERE THE HECK ARE THEY????
3. I had remembered to buy a new curling iron over the weekend
4. I had another hour right now.
5. For a "peaceful" Monday. Once you get past Monday, you can make it.

Joy!

We got so much sun I now have a burned face! oops.  

Soccer games were chilly...but afterwards I ran to Lowe's to get a ton of flowers....and by the time I got home it was beautiful.   I cleaned up the yard and planted some flowers.

We're off to the airport now to pick up my mom who's visiting for the whole week...then I'll finish the flowers and clean up the lawn furniture so we can sit outside today and ENJOY.

I'M LOVING THIS WARM WEATHER AND SUN!  Aaaaaaaaaah.

I Better Get Sun!

So ... it really stunk Wednesday when it was like 74 degrees and I was stuck at work.  And what helped me get through it was knowing after a couple rainy days, we were supposed to have a really nice sunny weekend.  Well, here I sit looking out the window at nothing but gray sky.  Those clouds BEST be thinkin' about moving out!!

Another topic: twittering.

I had heard about it .. my husband does it every know and then ... he works with people who do it.  Then that Brazen Careerest blog I like talked about it and that she was going to try it .. so I decided, why not?

Twittering is basically microblogging.  It's sort of like sending instant messages to the world.  I'm still a little leery about it - I don't think people REALLY want to know what I'm doing every second of the day.  (Like having to pee, as you see above.)

But, you can twitter through your phone ... sending a text right to your blog.  I'm not explaining it well.  Google "twitter" for better explanations - or go to twitter.com .

And another topic: today:

Ryan and Kyle are at TBall practice right now.  It's the first one.  I'm anxious to hear if the coach is over-the-top like he seems in his emails.  We've been real lucky so far to have very cool, level-headed, coaches for all the boys' sports.  (People who teach the kids to be competitive - but focus on the FUN.)

They'll bring home lunch, then we have soccer at 1:50 and 2pm.  That's rough because we have to split up to watch both boys ... but nice, because we'll be done early today and I can come home and work in the yard.  IF THE SUN COMES OUT.

Ryan just called...apparently Kyle's coach is some dude from the Johnny Dare show on 98.1....and very cool....and fun.  That's good to hear.  The station is doing cool stuff for the kids...putting their names on their shirts, etc.  And Ryan says one of the kids on Kyle's team is the next door neighbor boy he plays with a lot.  So ... that's all working out great!

I guess I'll put some clothes on.  It's only 46 degrees right now darnit.

Come on SUN SUN SUN. 

Superbad

Karen brought me a Carmel Machiatto from Starbucks tonight...it was like about 8pm ...so I'm so AWAKE.

So, I'm home now at 11:40pm ..and I told Ryan there's no way I'm falling asleep any time soon ... so now I'm watching "Superbad."

People talk about it all the time....so it's one of those...like Napolean Dynamite that you watch just to be up with pop culture.

So far....totally a guy movie. 

Wasting Time

I HATE wasting time. I live and die by the clock - I mean REALLY. (It's part of my job -- newscasts have to end on time -- no matter how much -- or how little -- news there is. And they always start on time - whether you're ready or not.)

And today: I was given the gift of time. My darling husband arranged it so I'd have the morning to myself. I could sleep in ... (barking dogs woke me up) ... and then I could do some cleaning around the house I've been wanting to do without my little shadow ... or munchkins messing up all my work. And it is now 10:36 and I have done NOTHING. Bwack!

I came down to the computer at 10am. And I'm still here. Wasting time! It's amazing how you can get sucked into ... oh, I'm gonna check this and this ... and respond to emails with Gore Vidal verbosity. I. Can't. Pull. Myself. Away!

Ok ... time to hit the house....I'll just work faster to make up for lost TIME.

Kids' Blogs

The kids have updated their blogs. It's very cute to find that Jack has blogged ... without anyone asking him if he has. I love "Kyle is coming to town." Very sweet. (We don't nag him about it...but every now and then I ask if he's still interested.) Nick loves to have his picture taken -- and then wants the picture on the blog right away.

I didn't have very much to say in my own blog ... I'm kind of groggy this morning (probably because it's so gray outside.) Maybe later.

Just the Five

The Five:

1. Unfocused

(I was told that I appear to have "senioritis" today. Yeah, I'm having trouble focusing. Especially when the temperature on my computer says 74 and I'm cooped up inside.)

2. Consumed. One issue is consuming me and I need to let it go. Let it go! Stop overthinking! I'm a crazy person talking to myself here.

3. Uncomfortable. My shirt is not fitting right and I hate that.

4. Anxious. For the weekend. And warm weather and playing.

5. Heavy case of screen suck. I have GOT to get away from the computer for a LONG period of time.

Five Wishes:

I wish..

1. I could play hooky. I wanna go outside and play!!! Waaah!

2. I could veg. Don't feel like working!

3. A project I've been working on would finish itself. I just can't get into it.

4. Everyone saw things my way. (ha ha ha ha)

5. I could take a week off work and not lose any vaca time. Ah to Dream!

My "yahoo" horoscope today:

This is the start of a repositioning period among the people in your social circle. Folks are shifting alliances and old friendship ties are breaking -- but just temporarily speaking. It's perfectly natural for people to want to mix up who they spend their time with, so do not worry that this is the end of something. The strong bonds that hold you all together are all still there, they just might be arranged a little differently for the next few weeks.

Uncovered in Corners: Deep Thoughts

Logging on super quick with this:

I was at the dentist's office today (don't even get me started on that) and I was half-heartedly looking through a "Working Moms" magazine. I came across a spot with quotes...and there was this one quote about;

--If the world around you is spinning and confusing and going nutty -- stand still. You'll find your direction. ---

I get that! I've been bobbing and weaving with some stuff...and sometimes you just need to chill. Stop. Wait. And Voila -- the answer/direction/peace. I was meant to come across that quote.

Something else I was meant to see ... Awhile back I did a google search on "Managing Up" and came across this blog. It has all sorts of helpful stuff I can apply in the workplace...interesting perspectives. And this blog entry in particular spoke to me. I could have done w/out the gross foot fungus ... but that's how she made her point. And I TOTALLY do this. Do you?

http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/03/31/get-good-at-finding-the-true-barriers-to-getting-what-you-want/

Ah Perchance to Sleep! To Dream!

I can't sleep.  Kind of ironic since I was so dead tired last week.  It's like 2:20 in the morning.  My stupid brain won't shut up.  And it's too late to take any sort of sleep aid.  Of course, getting on the computer was dumb.  I've read it's a bad idea because the light from the monitor stirs your brain and makes it harder to get tired.  Ok, it was more scientific than that, but I don't remember the real explanation.   But, it's something to do.

I could start an email I've been promising Karlyn now for ages.  I'm supposed to catch her up on my life....perhaps I'll bore myself to sleep.  Her email catching me up on her life was interesting... mine will read like an episode of "Everybody Loves Raymond."  You know:  "and then my husband annoyed me and we laughed and the kids did stuff and we laughed."  

Karlyn - I'm sorry I haven't sent that promised email.  But I still think about you all the time and love that you occassionally drop in and leave posts.  I've been thinking about sending an actual letter.  You know, the thing you write with a pen on paper.  Do people even do that anymore?

I mean, sure, we still get cards every now and then - with two or three lines...but I'm talking a nice long handwritten letter you can pour over then cherish.  That sounds nice.  And with that, I can start it and keep working on it and then send it when I can't think of anymore to say.  Yes, I like this idea.  I'll start your letter on a notebook I can carry around with me - and give it some time every day.  Time.  Now there's the problem.   I'll figure it out.

2:32.  Ugh.  And I can't snooze around tomorrow.  I have a dentist appointment.  Maybe I'll fall asleep in the chair.  That would be nice.  (I think.) I HATE going to the dentist.  Blech.

The house is so quiet.  And the screen is so bright I can't see anything else.  

Well, I just rambled on about nothing for a good 10 minutes.

Didn't solve any of life's problems.  

But perhaps my overactive mind will chill.

I'll give it another shot.

Good night.

Starting Fresh.

Bring on the new week.

I'm starting fresh...and looking forward to the warm up.

The Five: (It's back!)
1. Cold
2. Full (yummy dinner tonight!)
3. At Peace
4. Slowly feeling reenergized.
5. Happy my husband is just hanging out down here because I'm down here. That's nice.

Five Wishes:
1. Wish I had my slippers on....my feet are cold.
2. Wish it was earlier ... hate that the weekend is almost over. Love my weekends.
3. Wish this blog didn't waste so much space on either side and I could figure out how to make the middle part stretch out more.
4. Wish I could find a new desk I'm happy with...this one's got to go.
5. Wish, hope, for an uneventful and easy week.
Cheers!

Brrrrr.

Now that I am home thawing out from the Royals game (dudes, it SNOWED during play) it's as good time as any to do Sherry's blog challenge.  Or was is Lisa's?  Anyhooo...

What I am looking forward to about Summer:

--Sitting outside, closing my eyes and feeling the sun warm my skin. AAaaaah I miss that.  I'm sure part of my recent glumness (aside from work stress) is SAD.  (You know, that seasonal affectiveness disorder.)  This girl runs on sunshine - -and my reserve is low after this nasty non-stop winter.

I look forward to the boys playing baseball/Tball...they can't wait.

I look forward to mini-trips to various places -- this year we WILL get a camping trip in.  Love camping trips.

And as always, I look forward to the annual trip to Hilton Head ... sand between my toes, waves keepin' the beat, and RELAXING.  I'd like to go to Wanakena too ... wish we could fit it all in (and had unlimited vacation time!)

I look forward to weekends pittering around in the yard and grilling.

Aaaah....Summer....hurry up and get here!

Better Today.

So.  It's Saturday.  I got to sleep in.  Yep -- at about 10:20 I finally decided to roll out of bed.  And there was a fire going.  Love that.  

Piddled around on the computer for a bit ... 

Other things that are making me happy today:  all the boys' sports activities have been cancelled today because of the cold and field conditions.  Yahoo!  

I'm getting my haircut.  Yahoo!  It's been MONTHS.

And the boys are EXTREMELY excited that we're going to the sold out Royals game tonight.  Yeah, we'll be cold -- but they'll have fun.  We'll bundle up and hopefully get the jersey that's being handed out and eat peanuts. That's all Kyle can talk about is eating peanuts.   I shelled out some cashola to get some real good seats...and it's totally worth it since it's all the boys have talked about since we told them.

And tomorrow is Sunday.  It's the weekend.  Finally.  

And I'm thankful for my friends.  ALL of them...all the time.

Oh - I finally found a song I've wanted on my playlist ... "It's that kind of Day."

Oh oh - I made something!  Check it out!  What's amazing is that I not only put this together  (it's a kit) - I added pictures!  It's completely finished.  For me, that's good.

Friday Has Arrived

Thank goodness. I took Thursday off and did NOTHING. And I really mean NOTHING. Ok, laundry...but I took like all day to do it. I just can NOT stop sleeping. It's weird. I get Jack on the bus the go back to bed (with Nick sitting w/me watching Nick Jr) and I sleep 'til lunch time. Then I make lunch, and we go back to bed. (Except on Tues/Weds - I went to work as a zombie.) I got up and slugged around. Today, you'd think I'd be all refreshed and bouncing around, but again, I went back to sleep after getting Jack on the bus and just got up to make the boys lunch. I'm going into work and still feel like a zombie. I had a Coke last night - and the caffeine didn't even help. I don't know what the deal is ... I want to feel normal and have some energy!!! Blech.

Day Off ... Maybe

I am fried. I was able to convince folks I need a day off. So, I'm off Thursday (and I may sleep the ENTIRE day - if I can stop the dreams about rundowns and live coverage.)

BUT. Severe weather is in the forecast. That could send me RIGHT OVER THE EDGE.

Blech.

Is it Friday yet?

Kansas Sucks..and so does our new Dyson

So ... I managed to survive a very stressful hour post game show.  I reeeeeally was not happy about doing it - and not just because I hate the jaybirds and having to be immersed in everything hawk-ish.  But because this was a show where you had to be ready to go the second the game ended -- but could not plan on an outcome.  If that makes any sense.  Lovely Catch 22 : didn't want them to win, cuz I hate 'em.  But, if they lost, it makes for a tough live hour show.  So .. them winning certainly helped my efforts last night ... couldn't go wrong w/a liveshot from freaking mass celebratory hysteria in Lawrence.  But could I be relieved it was over?  No.  Because now that they've won ... we've got an hour AND A HALF special Monday AND another hour postgame (with the stress of not knowing which way it'll go.)  And guess who has to do it all?  Yep.  I tried to tell my boss that I was going to be sick on Monday.  Didn't fly.  So, while I enjoy Sunday without work -- I still have the stress hanging over me for the Monday marathon.

So yes, if I didn't hate Kansas enough before ... now I truly loathe them.

And speaking of things that suck:  we just bought a Dyson.  You know - the "top of the line" vacuum cleaner.  Ours appeared to make more of a mess that it cleaned...and lots of people had highly recommended them.  It seemed odd to spend so much on a freakin' vacuum ... and to do "research" - - it's a VACUUM.  But, it's supposed to be a good investment.  So, we bought one.  And as I sit here typing, my HUSBAND is vacuuming the floor ... vacuuming the upholstry ... and even vacuuming the blinds.  (Using the on board attachment thingy-jigs.)  And I'm sitting here.  Ah, the draw of a new toy.  I'm no ... sucker.

Another Reason to HATE Kansas

Stupid Jaybirds.
Because of them I'm losing my Saturday night at home.
Hate them hate them hate them hate them.
And I hope they lose. BIG.

Tired.

I'm tired. I really couldn't get up today. Part of it is my normal tired. Part of it is that time of month seems to sap energy. And part of it is, I assume, depression.

I'm tired of trying so hard to help people get better...and still being the bad guy. I'm tired of seeing the same mistakes over and over. I'm tired of being told the same thing, and not being given the tools to fix x, y, or z. I'm tired of being the bad guy. Yeah, I said that already once, but it's starting to get to me.

I'm tired of not having time to myself. Getting up earlier than my body can function.

I'm tired of doing extra for nothing.

I'm tired of how I look, but too tired to do anything about it. I think I last got a haircut in January. It looks bad.

And now I'm tired of blogging.